This may sound like a terribly sad thing, but in a way it is a good thing....a God thing. After my dad died I felt my heart break and I am not sure that I have really "felt" anything since then. I immediately started a process of change and am only now starting to feel settled in my new life.
Don't get me wrong there have been many tears since August 13, 2006.....but I couldn't feel my heart.
The last few weeks I have felt my heart again. An ache when a friend was hurting, an ache when I knew I had a word of encouragement for someone I was ministering too....and today...an ache because I was afraid I was losing a friend. I was crying today in the, "I don't want to cry, but I can't help it" phase.....
While I was crying I felt like I was about to have a heart attack...my physical heart was hurting. As I said above, this has happened more and more lately. I have known what to do in the past....it usually means one of two things:
I hurt for someone and I feel their pain
or
I am mourning the death of something
God, I give you me.....my heart in pieces or the whole....take it and make it what you need. Help me to hear you speak to me through it and do that which you are asking me to do.
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